


dean defeats teh pie stealerz

by Swiv_Scribbles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I'm so sorry, M/M, but not really, if you actually want to read something good don't read this, these are all very bad, this is really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12673992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swiv_Scribbles/pseuds/Swiv_Scribbles
Summary: In this groundbreaking conclusion to the Swiv-Writes-Garbage-On-Purpose-At-2am Trilogy, our Good Boys defeat the truest evil of all and make some discoveries about our medical system and their own feelings





	dean defeats teh pie stealerz

**Author's Note:**

> This is in no way intended to be serious. Honestly, good luck.

ddean was going to the gas station to get a pie becasue it was actually national pie day like the number but dean never needs an excues to eat a damn pie as an american. so he went to eht gas stationa nd he wanted to get a good ol apple pie but there was nothing on the shelf where it said pies. he was super shocked anod wanted to cry on the inside but he was a bad ass so he suucked the sinle tear back into his eyeboall. "no dean now is not the time," he yelled at himslef and there was a vfew peppel theat ooked at him funny so he ifnored thema dn walked up to ethe register with his bow legs real angy. "where the hell is your pi dammit!" he yelled real manly like at the kid behind the counter. "sir it's national pi day there wweere a bunch of people coming n to get pies we're out right now i'm very sorry-" and dean punched him into the face and stormed out huffy. "cas i need you!" he prayed in a loud and angry. "yes deanie weenie my beautiful tulip," said the gay angle man when he came out of nowhere. dean screamed cus he want ready for him to come from behind but he shook it off quick. "cas there is no more pie we have to find out where all teh pie is gone to and knock tsome sinece into all the sons of bitches who didnt leave any pie for me." cas thought that was a litle elical and wanted to chek and see if it would make him to bad to angle anmymore but dean was so upset and he would never deny his precions husband of anything so he said "okay i searched the web with my mind and also reading the worlds populations minfds at one time and it turns out that all the doctors hav the pies." dean was realy confused and did a shocked face with real big eyes like plates "What?? the doctos but they dont like pies becuase they make o=you fat??" "but teh appels dean, the apples! they are tyring to keep the ap,le s away h beaue there is the papple s th at kee [p the doctoers away and they are losing money in this shitty economy." "well that sucks for them but they CNAT JSUT TAKE MY DAMN APPLE PIE I NEED IT TO SURVIVE I WILL DIE CASTIEL" dean was very passionate boaut his pies. so cas took him to the mountaint where all teh doctors had build a eveil hospital to o evil doctor thigns with. "we have to be very sneaky dane, tehr eare docs all ofver te plac3 and they will do surcegry on us probablt," cas says but dean is already goin into the building and hter is a big boom. cas is scared and he goe sin to see that dean has the gerenade launcher and is pblowing up teh doctors hwho where not docters - but VAMPIRE WEREWLOF DOCTORS??? and they were hissing and guarfing a mountaino f pies in their pile and then dean was like "YOU SONS OF BITCHES GMME MY DAMN PIE OR ILL BLOW ALL OF YALLS UP RIGHT THIS SECOND MISTER" so they got nervous hat he would actually do it but they were super stron so they were like "nahhhhhhh" and they kept attacking. oane of the vamps was like " take this you stupid shit" and he went to make a match to light all the pies aon fire but dean awsnt having any of the at shoit, no sir, he kicked the fuck outta thaat vampe and he got ded and it was the head vampiere too so he got throuh to the pilel and had a ni idea. he looked at the pie all sexily adn said "i love you bby i'm dsorry about this" and kissed it but then threw it at the doctors nd the doctor melted and screamed and shit. the other doctors got scared and ran away. "Cas we did it! we saved all the pies!" dean shouted happy and did a fist pump in the air. but cas was pouting and froewne d at dnae. "why would you say that dnae? you toled the pie you loevd it but you still wodnt tell it ot me, you'r HUSBAND!!" and cas began to cruey. "oh baby no i do love you, so much, i just vot caught in the moment with teh pie it diddnt mean nothein baby i swear!" "prove it then, say you love me more than you love pie." cas looked super serios and dean did not konw what to do, he loved pie so much he always had it reminded him of his dead mother who whast n dead anymore he guessed so it was time to move on. "cassie i love you so much more than pie, that's why i married you and not the pie like i almost did that one tiem baby you're my one and only baby boy i love you some much" and they kised abunhc and then they probably had sex in a pile of pies but dont tell sammy because they did nto want to ruin pie for him even thoufh dnae liked it moer. but they werew happy to get the ipies back and dean ate a bunch wiht cas while they watched net flix and chilled with the pie but like actually chilling not like the sex beause theat was a mistake they decided it was too sticky. anyway they went back home to all their dog babies and ate pie and lived happiely ever after the end got dammjit ther it is the best conclusion ever they were so in love that chuck cried happy tears and shipped them more than anyone else ever and destiel becasme the best ship even though it wa already pretty close to best ad they had a hollitsay and had parades elebration their love and there was always a store that made sure dean always had pie so there would not have to be any more slaughter of doctors, htought tehy actually did track down the other docters to take care of tehm because ther was not way they could leave a bunch of vampire werewolved runnign aroing the country like mad people that wasould be dangerous and was no tokkay so yeah those guys are totally dead. but yeeah, the y had a pretty goo d life, they didnt actually ahve to go to hell anumore unless they were vissiting crowley for game night because that was a pretty fun time, they liked to play cards against humanity but cas used apples to apples cards becasue he felt ditry usin g the other ones and htat was fine pretty much. somehow he still one though but they dont know how that keeps happening maybe it s his gay angle paowers. oh well they have a good time and love

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I'm so sorry.


End file.
